Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I need to stop coming to work sober
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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