At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
