that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
