He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
