if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
