Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
