I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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