i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you remember whose house we're in?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
