Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
