The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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