going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
