it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I could fuck to npr.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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