Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
