Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
