last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
