apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
