Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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