I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
