there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
