so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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