Is it because I queefed?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
