Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
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