there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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