He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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