Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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