didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
