i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
