turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
