Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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