Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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