Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize