Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
