I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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