oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
