a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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