this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
