i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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