Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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