no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
