Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize