i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We have started to decorate penises.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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