dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Sober January is a disaster.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
