He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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