I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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