nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
