There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize