yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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