right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
