Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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