I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
