Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even my vagina gasped.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
