What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
