i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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