turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
