So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
