distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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