I think my vagina is haunted
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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