you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
