I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize