i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
